Posted by: jility | December 23, 2010

‘Twas the Plight Before Christmas

The Stinkmobile/Extortion in the mud

‘Twas the plight before Christmas and all through the town

The rain was so heavy, we thought we’d all drown.

For five days is poured, 24 hours a day

The dogs they were stir crazy ‘cause they couldn’t play.

There was thunder and lightning and mud everywhere

And animals were pairing up for ark loading I swear!

Mel drove the Extortion into soft gushy goop

That covered the leach field like thick dark brown soup.

The tow truck was called but they said, “No can do

Your dirt road’s impassable due to soft mucky goo.”

Triple A wanted to smack me ‘cause in call after call

I begged them to help us so I could shop at the mall!

They said there were landslides and mudslides galore

And people more needy than us that’s for sure!

I said I only care about what happens to me

And I needed the mall and a good shopping spree!

My humor was lost as she turned a deaf ear

So we continued to be stranded for what seemed like a year.

I begged and I pleaded and called them names in my mind

But they wouldn’t come get us and that was unkind.

Finally I found a kind soul who did care

And she said a big tow truck would shortly be there.

HOOORAH I did holler and yelled out to Mel


He drove down our driveway and hooked up his chain

He wasn’t scared of no stinkin’ ass rain!

Mel climbed into the seat and started the car

The winch didn’t have to pull very far.

The Stinkmobile struggled as it rocked back and forth

Trying and trying for all it was worth

To help that big tow truck free it from its mud grave

And in one mighty heave my ride it did save!

There was left behind an unsightly big mess

But shopping would soon relive my last minute stress

I could spend lots of money while still there was light

So merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!


  1. Hahahaha…good one Helen!

  2. YAY!!!!! Escape!!!

  3. Helen; that was amazing. I’m glad you got your vehicle out. Have a wonderful Christmas.

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