Posted by: jility | January 3, 2011

Idontgiveashitzheimer’s at its BEST!

Wouldn’t it be redundant to write that most men have Idontgiveashitzheimer’s?

Case in point:

About a month ago, I noticed that our Hydro Hot (the diesel run thingy that makes hot water and heat for the Global Warmer) was spewing oil and smoke. We know from experience that means it is time to clean the nozzle and replace a few small parts. I nicely mentioned to Sir Cussalot that perhaps it was time to order new parts so he could replace the spewing tired ones before it stopped working completely. He agreed.

About a week went by and I asked (very nicely) if he had ordered the HH parts. The reply I got was, “Not yet.” I suggested (nicely) that perhaps he should think about it. He grunted. Translated, that means in Cussalot, “Whatever Biatch, I’m on top of it so mind your own shit.” Now Sir C would never say that out loud. He is too nice/smart but, after nearly 40 years together, I know what he is thinking.

Another week went by and repeat the above but add a bit of emotion to the conversation.

Another week goes by and still there is no sign of parts being ordered. I know what happens when the HH is not cared for! IT CRAPS! When the HH craps, there is no hot water and only electric heat. We are staying with Sir C’s daughter in Temecula and the electricity rate here is outrageous! We don’t call our RV the Global Warmer for nothing! Sir C’s daughter is very conservative with her electricity so her bill normally stays low. However, when the Global Warmers come to town that changes very quickly!

Up until now, the age difference between Sir C and me has not been an issue. He is twelve years older than I am. So now he is almost 73 (he keeps reminding me that he is NOT 73 yet! He will be next month though). Old people get cold and women my age get hot (I wish I could say that I AM hot but you all know what I look like so, sadly, that would be a boldfaced lie).  Anyway, Sir C cranks up the heat until it feels like a freaking old folks home in here. It reminds me of when we visited his 100 year old grandmother’s house! You could cook a turkey on her floor or tofu depending on your preference but let’s not open THAT can of worms again (‘CAUSE THE WORMS WOULD FRY IN HERE!!!)

So I have to sleep with my window open and my head right up against it or I sweat to death. He claims that he must keep the heat turned up so the Poodles don’t get cold. WTF? The Poodles are panting and our Poodles don’t pant!

But I digress as usual.

So another week rolls around and I raise my voice just a little (nothing major – just to show a LITTLE more emotion) and ask, “So, have you ordered those F#@%!^G Hydro Hot parts yet?”

“NO,” he answers brusquely, reacting to my tude, “I’ll get to it when I get to it!”

“SO,” I reply, “are you waiting for the F#@%!^G thing to CRAP before you fix it?” I MAY have had just a touch of sarcasm in my voice.

“Yes.”

“Do you like it when I am upset?” I ask reasonably.

“Yeah, I F#@%!^G love it!” He replies.

“Well,” I say, “I hope to God YOU are the one taking the shower when the F#@%!^G hot water goes out!”

“Whatever.”

So, a few minutes later I hear him go outside to get the information he needs from the HH to order parts. I say nothing. Smart move.

SO, that was last week. It has rained here for 40 days and 40 nights (or at least it feels like that) and we live on a dirt road. It is getting very sloppy and difficult to negotiate. According to the HH website, the parts were supposed to be delivered today but they won’t drive up the road for fear of getting stuck!

Imagine my great surprise when we go to take a shower this morning and THE FREAKING HYDRO HOT WOULDN’T START!!!! We were going to the movies and there was not a lick of hot (or warm water!). LOVELY!

So Sir C says he will turn on the electric HH but we had to take Navy showers because the electric heater can’t keep up. NO SHIT!!! Now Sir C was IN the Navy. He signed up for the Navy! He was on a ship and used to Navy showers. My idea of roughing it is a regular room at the Ritz. I like – no LOVE –  taking long hot showers! After all, there is a LOT of me to wash!

The shower was miserably cold and it was taken in record time with much cussing.

By the looks of the weather and the road, there will be no HH parts arriving here in the near future so it will be cold Navy showers for quite some time.

Idontgiveashitzheimer’s at its best!

The movie, The Little Fockers, was funny as hell.


Responses

  1. Helen,

    It’s been a day but lol reading your blog tonight — thanks for the comic relief!! :0) Hopefully the HH parts come tomorrow. It’s been 30 degrees here north of Philadelphia and I’m glad to be coming back home tomorrow. No more rain tho, it does feel like it’s been 40 days and 40 nights… enough already! See you in Chula Vista!

    • YES SHELLEY!!!! They came today finally! I am sorry you have to be in PA 😦 TOO COLD FOR MY BLOOD!
      See you soon 🙂

  2. OMG! That is so funny. And so fucking (I don’t hold things back)typical. We frequently blow a fuse that is required in order for the propane to heat the water, but luckily Tom is one of these “we need one for back-up” (which is also why we have too much Tide and a cupboard full of paper towels) people so it usually isn’t a problem!! I can go for a long time in sponge baths…..the first little trailer I had had been ‘winterized’ and I never could figure out why the propane always cut off….right before Tom traded it in on an RV I discovered why and reconnected the piping – lovely hot water after that! But by then he had traded it, and all my cold showers were in vain (but I didn’t take many, I hated sitting on the pot to take a shower even if it was hot).

    • LOL! Mel usually has spare parts but the last time he used them, he didn’t restock 😦 Very sad.


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