Posted by: jility | May 6, 2014

Chemo Report and I DO NOT SNORE!

With only two chemotherapy treatments left, I am so very excited to look forward to feeling like my old self again. I might not have been the fastest or the youngest or anything else great, but it will sure beat what I am feeling now and have for the past year or so!

It was more than a year ago that I first began to get sick. It was horrible! It took seven months to figure out what was wrong with me. Once the enormous tumor was removed from my colon, I felt SOOOOO much better! Then, six weeks later, the chemotherapy began and I felt like crap all over again, only even worse. I have written many blogs about my journey, so I won’t go into detail again, but until they figured out just how allergic I was to the chemo and added steroids and other things to my treatments to help me cope, life was pretty much horrific.

After five treatments, my liver values began to rise. After eight treatments, they were scary high. My oncologist took me off Oxaliplatin, explaining that was the culprit. I can’t say I was sad to see that crap go! It really made me sick. The 5 FU and the other drug (the name escapes my chemo brain) are bad enough, but that Oxaliplatin just sucked big time! It made me unable to withstand any cold at all on my hands, legs, face or in my mouth or throat. I had to wear gloves and a mask much of the time to keep the cold air at bay. About the only things the remaining two drugs do is make me weak and tired and my brain is often quite fuzzy. Unfortunately, without the Oxaliplatin, my appetite is back with a vengeance so I have put on weight. I really need to watch that because I have to lose another fifty pounds!

One of the other side effects of the chemo is mood swings. I can be sad and tear up at sappy TV shows one minute, higher than a kite manic the next and madder than an irrational wet hen the next. It seems to depend on where I am in my chemo cycle as to how I react to things, but I am always weak and tired and I am REALLY sick and tired of that!

There was a time when I could easily run two dogs in an all-day seminar and do so for days without ever missing a beat! Now I can barely take a shower without having to lie down on the bed for a few minutes afterwards to rest.

This too shall pass.

Sir Cussalot knows to ignore me when I am in my madder than an irrational wet hen phase of chemo. He is so good. No matter what I say, he just goes about his business. The good thing is that I know I am being irrational and I know it is the chemo, so I can pretty much control my behavior and stifle my anger. I also know that my anger is not about anyone else, it is about me and my chemo brain. I can’t control what anyone else thinks, feels, does or says. I can only control myself and my reactions to others’ insensitivity or poor behavior. There are, however, a couple of people on this earth who test me to my limit. I would like to take a leash, wrap it around their neck and drag them to a high cliff and let them fall to their demise, but alas, I am too weak and tired to do so. The only recourse I have is to stay away from them and avoid conversations with them (electronic or in person). When I see these two people, I remove myself from their space so I don’t say something Sir Cussalot will regret.

Just two more chemo treatments to go and I can get back to building up my stamina, my health and my good mood.

I DO NOT SNORE!

snoring

One of the crappy side effects of the chemo and steroids is insomnia. Normally, I sleep like a log, but depending on the stage of chemo, it might take me a while to get to sleep or back to sleep once woken. Take last night for instance:

About midnight, I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. I lay there listening to Sir Cussalot snore. Now, he is convinced that he does not snore! One of these nights I am going to tape him with my phone to prove it to him!

It must have been an hour or so before I could no longer take it. As I lay on my side of the bed contemplating my course of action, I got angrier and angrier. Yes, I am in that phase of chemo at the moment. We bought a couple of boxes of Breathe Right Strips to cut down on the snoring, but Sir C doesn’t like wearing them so I suffer. If he sleeps on his side, the snoring is not that bad, but when he is on his back it sounds like a freight train is bearing down on us!

When I was at the end of my rope and could no longer take it, I moved my leg across the expansive king bed and past little MiniMe, who always sleeps under the covers. I finally reached Sir Cussalot’s hairy legs. I accidentally kicked him five or six times until the snoring ceased. As soon as he was quiet, I quickly removed my foot from his space so I didn’t implicate myself in the accidental kicking.

I waited an appropriate length of time to distance myself from the awakening and said, “Turn over please.”

Sir Cussalot, “Why?”

Me, “Because you are snoring!”

Him, “I AM NOT!”

Me in my oh so sweet voice, “Ah, yes you are.”

Him, “How can I be snoring? I am wide awake!”

OKAY, DUH!

Now, we have been down this conversation road MANY times. He always says the same dumb ass thing! “How can I be snoring if I am awake?”

Me, “Well, you are awake now, but a minute ago it sounded like a freight train was coming through the bedroom!”

Sir C –  silence.

He waits long enough so the turning over seems like HIS idea, then I hear the covers rustling as he maneuvers to his side.

Not able to leave well enough alone I say, “If you would wear a nose strip, this wouldn’t happen.”

Him, in his best Sir Cussalot grumble, “I hate those F#@K!^G things.”

I say nothing but the seed has been planted.

About ten silent minutes go by and I hear him get out of bed. He walks to the bathroom and switches on the light. The cabinet door opens and I know he is going in for the nose strip!

HALLEFREAKINGLUJAH! Now I will be able to sleep!

He crawls back in bed without a word.

Me, “Thank you.”

He grunts.

All is well again in the world.

 


Responses

  1. Is it done yet? I can’t remember how often you have to have these… I’m praying it’s done!!

  2. Haha Helen my husband says the same thing (‘how can I be snoring when I am awake??’ also ‘I am not snoring its just BREATHING’…)
    So glad to hear your chemo is nearly finished, all the best for a complete recovery 🙂

    • That is hysterical!

  3. Thank goodness you’re lying down already when you accidentally kicked him four or five times!

  4. My insomnia never went away. I still have to sleep on the couch occasionally in front of the TV. That seems to help me sleep. Quitcherbitchin’ & get through 2 more chemo’s & wait a year & you’ll at least be closer to normal than you are now. The chemo rots some parts of your brain, but that’s in exchange for your life. I love you! ;0)

    • Thanks Eileen :). I love you too.

  5. I am so pleased that your adventure in Chemo is about to come to an end! Having never gone through anything like it but only watching my brother and then my dad go through it I know that it is not something I would handle well… I kneel at your feet and genuflect murmuring “I am not worthy, I am not worthy” and meaning every word of it! Now onto the snoring… My husband used to snore so badly (just like Mel) that I started sleeping in the den until he did some research into the matter. He found a product called Pure Sleep and it works! Works like magic! It’s a guard that you make at home to fit in your mouth and you sleep with it in place. Silence! Oh fabulous, glorified silence! They are offering a two for one (price is about $80 but so worth it and they last a long time) sale. Since my husband needed a new one I took advantage of the sale and for his birthday but more for me he got two new packages in the mail. Here’s the web site… https://puresleep.com/s30/homepage.php?adsrc=gkd+branded+search&gclid=CPqi0bHml74CFY3m7Aodw2AAEw
    If you try it, I know it will work but I also know that not everyone will be comfortable sleeping with something in their mouths. My husband isn’t even aware of it and it only took a night to acclimate to it.

    • Thank you! 🙂 I am not sure Mel will wear anything like that. He is funny about such things. I know he will go nutz over the price for sure!

      • Too bad as I know how well it works! The price is $60 (I was mistaken) and you get two of them plus it lasts about a year if you take proper care of it. Proper care is soaking it in the morning for about 20 minutes with a little fizzy tablet like Efferdent. One bad thing is that one of our poodles (Myles) will eat it if left out! If it’s not for him then it’s not for him…

  6. Only two more! And you make me laugh. Thank you.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  7. Hi Helen, Thanks for update ! Ron

    • -Ron I am so glad you are back online 🙂 Hope you are doing well.


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