Shortly after Christmas Sir Cussalot and I were driving along chatting. I said something like, “Can you believe it is almost New Year already?” Here I was thinking how lucky I felt to be alive another year. Sir Cussalot’s perpetual half empty mentality responded in a most disgusted tone, “Yeah, I can hardly wait. Another F#@K!^G year older.”
Ever since I have known him (he was 36 when we met and is about to turn 77), he has gotten particularly grumpy around his birthday. I have only gotten depressed once over a birthday and that was when I turned 40. Now I look back and realize just how silly that was! I would give anything to be 40 again!!!
The way I see it now is that each birthday is a gift, and I appreciate them more than I can express.
So on Tuesday of this week I went for ct and pet scans. I hate the two day wait to get the results! Every minute is agonizing. I can make up crap in my head that is much worse than the results!
We were escorted into the office room and waited for Dr. Lenz. After a few minutes he burst through the door with his usual smile and said, “VELL?”
“What do you mean, ‘Well?’ Well to YOU!”
He responded, “You are za vun who vent to see Dr. Moore. Vat did she say?”
“I told you what she said!”
“I know, I have her report here.”
“Then why did you ask me?” I responded with a smile. I adore this doctor! He is so perfect for my personality it is scary! He is blunt, irreverent and now feels comfortable enough to cuss in front of us. I feel right at home!
He read me what she wrote. She didn’t want to do surgery. She thought the tumors were too small to find and that I should be treated with more chemotherapy.
Dr. Lenz got serious and yelled in his high upset voice, “I DO NOT KNOW VY ZEEZ SURGEONS DO NOT VANT TO DO SURGERY! ZAY ARE SURGEONS!!!! DO YOUR JOB FOR PETE’S SAKE!!!!”
Sir C and I laughed. Then Sir C tried to ask a question but Dr. Lenz, who was sitting next to him, put his hand on Sir C’s wrist and shhhed him. We smiled.
Finally, Sir C got bolder than normal and just interrupted him to ask, “What did the scans show?”
“VAT SCANS? Did you have scans?”
“Ah yes,” I responded.
Sir C said boldly, “She had them on Tuesday!”
Dr. Lenz looked surprised and jumped out of the chair. “I vill go get za results! I have not seen zem.”
At that he burst out of the room and disappeared for five or so minutes. It seemed like an eternity. My normal blood pressure is about 112 over 65. When I am waiting for scan results it jumps to 170 over 100!!!!! CRAZY SCARY!
He finally came back in the room.
“It vuz not read ven vee looked at za scans yesterday. Zat is vy vee missed it.”
“It is mixed.” He said he said softly.
What the F#@& does that mean???? I thought. OK, here it comes, I am full of cancer and I am dead meat. Now how will I finish Pankies’ MACH???
Dr. Lenz saw the horror on my face.
“NO! NO! It is not BAD!” He shook his head at me and waived his expressive arms and continued.
“Vell, za big tumor is melting avay. It vent fum 7 cm down to 3.7 last scan and is now down to 1.4! But, za small tumor started at 1.7 cm and went down to 1.2 last scan but is up to 1.6 this time. Zat is not much, but it grew a little.”
I tried to process. Wondering why one would be dramatically melting away while the other one grew.
Then I thought about how the surgeons all said that the masses would be very difficult to find so maybe growing wasn’t all that bad. I had to find the pony in the manure!
Sir Cussalot asked, “Were there any new growths?”
“NO!” Dr. Lenz responded in his higher happy voice. His voice range is amazing! I wonder if he sings. J
We discussed the chemo side effects. I told him that my hair is falling our much more so than the last time. He said that the new chemo I am on causes more hair loss. I told him that pretty soon I would look like him! He got a very offended look on his face, pointed at his thinning flat top, looked over at Sir C and said, “CAN YOU BELIEVE ZISS????” We all laughed. I do look like the moths have gotten to me.
So surgery is scheduled for January 29th at Keck Hospital at USC in LA. I hope they find those two ponies in all that manure they have to dig through!
The BEST news is no chemo for NINE FREAKING WEEKS!!!
When Dr. Lenz told me that, I yelled with joy. He said, “zis is your life vee are talking about and all you sink about is agility!”
“Well,” I responded, “agility IS my life!” I looked over at Sir C and we smiled. “HEY! I did a four day trial last weekend only two weeks out of chemo and I did FIVE runs on Thursday, Friday and Saturday and SIX runs on SUNDAY!” Dr. Lenz threw up his hands, shook his head, smiled and left the room.
Meanwhile, I continue on my journey of wellness and good eating and juicing. Still no oil, no sweeteners, vegan and unprocessed.
Helen Grinnell King